When the Random Number Generator just won't let you win...

Discussion in 'Card Hunter General Chat' started by ParodyKnaveBob, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. ParodyKnaveBob

    ParodyKnaveBob Thaumaturge

    Blame the RNG
    All the cards were Moove cards
    Blame it on the dice
    They're weighted each fiight
    But whatever you do
    Don't put the blame oon you
    Blame the RNG, yeah, yeah

    $:^ J
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2015
  2. Lucky Dice

    Lucky Dice Thaumaturge

    Why am I the problem ;_;
  3. slowreflex

    slowreflex Goblin Champion

    Are they coming out with a bard class?
    ParodyKnaveBob likes this.
  4. Jarmo

    Jarmo Snow Griffin

    No, but I saw Flaxative coming out of a bard class. He sounded a bit hoarse and his fingertips were red. He seems to be applying himself vigorously.
    Flaxative and ParodyKnaveBob like this.
  5. ParodyKnaveBob

    ParodyKnaveBob Thaumaturge

    A couple minutes ago, @Wocket said, "you're going to singlehandedly engender the bard class with your prose in the forums, Bob," in World Chat, which reminded me! A couple days ago, I realized I could've written this a little better.

    Blame the RNG
    All your cards were Moove cards
    Blame it on the dice
    They're weighted each fiight
    But however you're skilled
    When your Dwarf Warrior's killed,
    Blame the RNG, yeah, yeah

    "Card Hunter's Lament"
    written by Brandon W. Horton (a.k.a. "ParodyKnaveBob")
    © 2015 theUndiscovered Software & Entertainment

    parody of "Blame It on the Rain"
    written by Diane Warren
    © 1988? 1999? Frank Farian? Who knows, have you seen the Milli Vanilli Behind the Music episode?
  6. Wocket

    Wocket Orc Soldier

    Inspired by my fellow Sorcererer's poetic prowess, I present an ode to the Throne of the Mechanical Men

    O Captain, Potemkin
    The fearful fight is done
    Although you disappeared on me
    Somehow I still have won

    The tyrant now, he too shall bow
    Those epics I will loot
    But hark! My deck is now a wreck
    And robots stand and shoot

    The elf is fast, and long will last
    By dodging every shot
    But little help this offers since
    Her damage - not so hot

    My priest! My priest! Was once a beast
    And took down foes with ease
    But squeamish won't allow this now
    His stomach's full of quease

    My draft was poor, can move no more
    No blocks are left in hand
    As lasers fly, my warrior dies -
    Falls cold upon the land.

    The foes they camp, their VP ramps
    No solution have I found
    But I'll return, o captain
    It's volcano next time round!
  7. ParodyKnaveBob

    ParodyKnaveBob Thaumaturge

    Beautiful! $E^ D
    I laughed, I visualized, I laughed some more.

    (And I haven't even played that module! Looks like you don't really needed to've... That's cool.)

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