Ozyola's Oddments: Custom Item Photoshopping!

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Sweet! Pretty inspiring, so I decided to beat the dead horse beater.

Since Defender's Block didn't get nerfed during Summer Balance changes, I expect to see a bunch of new blocks on the next item expansion:


But wait, there's more!



Hmm... I wonder what kind of weapon Dead Horse Beater would be...

 

A Divine Staff-Weapon, of course!

 

So... the theme for this month's AA is "good cards from bad items" like Massive Chop, and the theme for the next expansion is "helmets for every slot", so what the game needs most is a:

Spoiler

Massive Bladed Helm
level 4 rare martial skill
Massive Chop, Battleaxe Block, Ill-fitting Armor

 

In anticipation of a possible second Halloween-themed AA, a helping of AI-inspired submissions.

Ramses's Recipe Book
Level 33 Epic Divine Weapon,


Sneakers of the Aghast Guest
Level 1 Epic Boots, Tokenless


Novice Postgraduate
Level 36 Rare Wizard Skill,


Staff of the Picky Lich
Level 22 Legendary Staff,

 

Tired of those pesky mutants adapting to every attack you play? Show them that you too can adapt to be adaptable... by adapting to their Adaptable adaptations!

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Using predictive algorithms based on past data and a crystal orb, here are my predictions for the winners of AA14.

Brain-bound Boots
Level 24 Rare Boots,


Nom Gravy Brand Headgear
Level 21 Rare Helmet,


Impocalypse
Level 5 Rare Staff, Tokenless


Mutated
Level 30 Epic Human Skill,


Hasty, Hasty Staff
Level 13.5 Rare Staff,


I think I need to recalibrate my algorithms and polish my crystal orb.

 

Get some Teleport Self on that hasty staff and I would use six of them. Throw some flash flood in there, and you'll never catch me.

 

Or you can always face a wiz or two, which can target you from far away while they sit on VP.

 

1 Twizel's + 3 CZWs on each wizard, which also allows for Superb Electromancy/Traveler + some Forward Thinking (give me more of those in the expansion, thanks in advance) + a robe with terrain for the VPs. I think i'd be all-right.

 

Staff of the Entropic Ice Queens
Level 24 Epic Staff,


Legends speak of two queens from adjacent kingdoms far in the cold reaches in the far north of Cardhuntria, renowned for their talent in the arts of cryomancy. Where these kingdoms now still exist, there existed at one point one great kingdom and at another point was close to existing once more. This kingdom was bound together by a powerful and sacred artifact, but with a dispute over the true heir to this kingdom it was sundered in two, as was the sacred relic. Where their predecessors would wage war with each other, the two queens formed a pact of peace and had their most talented Dwarven smiths reforge their parts of the sacred artifact into a singular and powerful staff to celebrate the newfound peace between their repeatedly uniting kingdoms.

Nobody is sure what happened to these queens as both they and the staff cease to appear in the annals of history after the supposed peace treaty occurred. Rumours are abound that one queen merely sought to supplant the other queen and both fell in the ensuing struggle for power. Others yet claim the relationship between the two was not hateful but the very opposite and the Cardhuntrian Dwarven Council, fearing the danger a consolidated kingdom could pose, cast the queens alongside the now shattered bits of the sacred staff into the pits of entropy, a place only spoken of these days as the "Caverns of Chaos". Whether these tales are fact or mere fantasy, people to this day still speak of the Shattered Staff of the Entropic Ice Queens and what might happen if these queens are united once more in the Caverns of Chaos and reforge their sacred staff...

 

Spray and Pray
Level 18 Epic Staff,


Who says Priests are the best at praying?

 

Staff of Quick Draw
Staff


Level 11

 

Staff of Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Nine Embers
Level 15 Quasi-Legendary Staff,


When you're just shy of a million.

 

When you're just shy...


Burnt-out Staff
Level 6 Rare Staff, tokenless



Bring back tokenless triple trait wizard skills!


Apathetic Burning
Level 6 Common Wizard Skill, tokenless

 

Union Leader's Crown
Level 21 Legendary Helmet,


Hell Toupee
Level 21 Legendary Helmet,


Who's going to win?!

 

So we're at this again!

A new expansion has just been released, and apparently that's all needed for Blue Manchu to mess everything up. Including its cards. Awful, really.

Hereby I propose some improved designs for cards we have. Mostly for thematics, but I think these are effects we desperately need in the game.

Spoiler: New card

Spoiler: Another new card

Please bear with my horrible editing skills, thank you.

 

As surely everyone knows, Form cards are the real deal these days. They're new and they're shiny, and last but not least they're fun. They're also only found on class skill slots, except... Wait. Is that a Lycanthropic Form on Volkov's Warmask?

The other two forms only occur on class skills. Which is, of course, unacceptable. This puts Lycanthropic Form above the other two. Which means that Blue Manchu, once again, has messed up. Fortunately I am here to remedy the issue.

Edward's Shirt
Level 17 Epic Divine Armor, minor token


White Bedsheet
Level 3 Rare Robes, tokenless

 

New expansion is out, balance is in ruins. So many new cards and concepts have been introduced, but some niches were, of course, left without an item to fill them up. Fear no more! I come to bring you what Card Hunter lacks and to fill the gaping void in the game!

There are many complaints about The Strongarm, and I can see why. Minmaxed to perfection, it's weapon with far more punch than a tokenless weapon is supposed to pack. While maybe not a must-have, it makes the game way too easy. But worry not! I've brought with myself something that'll make people forget The Strongarm altogether! Let me introduce to you... The Angryarm!

Level 6 legendary weapon, tokenless.

Blood is yum, as I'm sure all vampires will agree. At times, however, it comes in the wrong packaging. How many times have you been consumed by anger, trying to open that stupid canned blood for the hundredth time, only to keep failing? Your days of frustration are over! Here comes the BloodMaster Tin-Opener 2000!

Level 12 legendary divine weapon, two minor tokens.

There are quite a few pieces of flawed design out there that people somehow still love and use. Imagine, for a moment, how much people would love them if they were fixed! Let my brand new Angry Hand Mace stand here as an example.

Level 18 epic divine weapon, two major tokens.

Some cards have woefully bad items to get them from. Introducing better options would increase the variety of cards seen in play while retaining the overall balance. Right? Here's some taste of that from nothing less than the Demonic Vampire's Sword!

Level 17 rare divine weapon, major/minor tokens.

Time affects us all. Should that, by extension, mean that we all should be able to manipulate time as well, regardless of character level? Watch out, however, for such a great power comes at a great price indeed. Check out my new Jetlag Amulet!

Level 6 rare arcane item, tokenless.

Returning for a moment to bad items of good cards, here's some more goodness for that. Spring And Sap your way to victory!

Level 17 rare divine item, minor token.

Some more might come later. Or maybe not. Maybe I just won't feel like divulging my secrets. Farewell!

 

Ready to Strike is out! Let's see the items with it... Ah, the usual. But you, dear reader! You have ambitions! Aspirations! Surely you want something more! Why not add some Insult To Injury?

Level 18 rare helmet, major token. Or, if we believe Vakaz's creator, it's only level 12 for a minor token. If the former holds, Jump Back can be changed to Dodge to keep it down on a minor nevertheless. See, I'm always prepared for anything that could happen!