Ozyola's Oddments: Custom Item Photoshopping!

Hail, Card Hunters!

What is Ozyola's Oddments? The deranged Ozyola (Aloyzo's half-brother and half-troll from his father's side) has finally decided to make himself known to the regular forum readers, and is now photoshopping custom items! The only problem is, he's pretty slow, if you know what I mean. He's also a bit mischievous – he may have some restriction on what kind of item he's willing to make. Still: he might photoshop your order! Use the form below to request his services.

(Disclaimer: If it's not clear by now, this is pure parody. Use this thread to showcase your obnoxious and obscure item ideas.)

Ozyola's Oddments​

# Order Form
Every now and then, you have a chance for Ozyola to photoshop an item of your choice. To place an order, make a post in this thread. Limit one order per post. When you place your order, you must include the following information:

1. Accompanying explanation of why your item should be selected.
This is necessary for Ozyola to know your intentions are ominous enough.

Everything else is optional, but including actual Card Hunter cards, item type and/or item type in your submission might help your item to be picked.

• DO NOT submit current Aloyzo's Arsenal submissions or serious item builds. Use the current AA thread and/or Smithy - Build you own item thread for those.
• Also, Ozyola isn't interested in crafting existing items, so please make sure your idea doesn't already exist in-game by consulting the wiki.

# Questions
Q: Can I submit more than one item?
A: Yes! But only one submission per post.

Q: Can I photoshop / provide art too?
A: Yes! Feel free to share your own photoshops and item / card illustrations in this thread.

Q: Can I request / provide custom cards too?
A: Yes! But do note we have Card Ideas thread for custom cards too.

Other questions? Ask in this thread.

Please post in this thread. Thanks!

 

Few samples to set the tone:

Spoiler: Nimbus 2000

Spoiler: Scorching Pain

Spoiler: Vibrant Shortsword

 

Staff of Obvious Fireballs: 4x Fireball 2x Obvious Maneuver.

Femur of Savage Iljin: 1x Weak Strike, 3x Savage Curse, 2x Inspiring Presence.

 

Relic of St. Blizkenripper

 

Username: SceoMyntan


Vibrant Paint
Helmet


This face paint allows warriors to draw their opponents' attention as well as perform flying attacks.

Currently, Nimble Strike is only found on weapon slots. Making it accessible on helmets would help counter Spram (Acid Spray spam) and increase the playability of certain elven cards. Most notably, it'll give a popularity boost to Pathfinding, which has been sorely underplayed in favor of traits.

Taunt's largely on the item for flavor, but it might be useful in some specialized decks. As a bonus, if Taunt ever gets an attack value, even 0 if combined with frenzies, it'll finally render Adapted To Sonic useful when you get it from Genetic Engineering in multiplayer. And who hasn't wanted that?

 

DING DING! We have our first winner! Also the first correctly submitted order that includes explanation. Might be just a coincidence...

Presenting you - Vibrant Paint

Spoiler: Vibrant Paint

 

Spinning Laser Shield
Weapon

This shield is so huge it takes a weapon slot.
Besides, you will be attacked by your ennemies, so you will block most of the hits, so you will get attack cards, so this IS a weapon after all.
(Laser is made of light, and you can't stop light, that's why it's got to be spinning)

Do you have trouble choosing between choosing powerful attacks to quickly deal with warriors rushing at you, and movement speed to catch those sneaky wizards? Then the Spinning Laser Shied is here for you! You will get devastating melee laser attacks to deal with any warrior comming you way, and no need to run after the pestering wizard! Just shoot them from afar!
Spinning Laser Shield, the weapon of your dream!
We do not guarantee the user's safety, and we will not take back any malfunctionning lasers.

 

DAYM! This shield weapon is so huge that I had to craft a level 36 warrior to even wield that beast. Talk about power creep!

Brace yourself for Spinning Laser Shield

Spoiler: Spinning Laser Shield

 

Wym's 'Cano Paddle
Staff
Volcano
Volcano
Volcano
Volcano
Volcano
Combustible

This handy paddle was used by none other than Wym himself, when he was insuring that everyone was swimming in lava. Because when you're up sh- I mean, lava creek, you better have a paddle!

 

In the beginning Wym created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Wym was hovering over the waters.

And Wym said, “Let there be lava,” and there was lava. Wym saw that the lava was good, and he separated the lava from the darkness. Wym called the lava “Volcano,” and the darkness he called “Combustible.” And there was Glob Of Flame, and there was Firestorm—the first day of farming.

Paddle up and go for a farming run!

Spoiler: Wym's 'Cano Paddle

 

Laserwood Staff of the Magus

Unstable Bolt, Unstable Bolt, Pull The Trigger, Push The Button, Laser Block, Laser Block

Battlemagi may start with Cherry and Balsa before graduating to Oak, Maple or even the mighty Ironwood, but it is only a few who dare wield staves of the exotic and unpredictable Laserwood trees of the Great Northern Mountains.

 

Staff of fire and Ice

Blazing fire and biting frost have been sealed inside this powerful staff. Oh, wait, it seems the sealing was not made properly. Now the ice has melted and is leaking into the fire parts of the staff. Anyway, behold the Staff of Smouldering Fire and Melting Ice!

 

Staff of Pools
Lava Pool
Lava Pool
Acid Pool
Acid Pool
Flash Flood
Flash Flood

"Everyone in the pool!"
Sure, it's not summer time anymore, but with this beauty of a staff, who cares? Never mind that you probably can't wield it (not at current levels).
It's perfect for any outdoor event! Barbecues? Lava Pool! Swim Party? Summon up a Flash Flood! Need to get rid of that pesky party guest? Nothing like an Acid Pool to dispose of the evidence!
Staff of Pools, order yours today!
Not all interactions guaranteed by creator. Not responsible for damages to lawns.

 

Searing Brain

Brain Hook
Brain Hook
Brain Hook
Brain Hook
Brain Hook
Brain Hook

Thought you had enough with searing pain? Well imagine facing Searing Brain! Not only will your characters die a quick and painful death, but your brain will also explode after your opponent pulls out the 12th brain hook! I thought my life was over once I inspired my vampire five times before being hit by Searing Brain... oh wait it is.

 

Brinkman's Blade

Almighty Hack x6.

Because we were going to get there eventually.

 

Reminds me of a conversation in world chat with a guy complaining mom's warrior only has those and AoA

 

*Ahem*

 

Presenting the... Missing Arm!
Weapon, No token cost, Legendary, Designed to be a temporary substitute for The Strongarm
With the items:

 

Hope custom cards are OK too.

 

Starting that next to an enemy hypnotic beacon would be even funnier*