Ready to win some Beta Keys?

Yeah, a week was waaaay too long to run this contest, lol.

Just curious, and it was probably already asked, but how many winners are there going to be?

 

My best story so far involves UO. I had just freshly installed the game and signed in, made my character and decided that i would go exploring. After walking around for a good 5-10 minutes enjoying the scenery I spotted a cave. So, curious me, I naturally decide to go have a look see. I was dead before the cave ever loaded, someone had parked a wyvern by the entrance and little old unarmored me never stood a chance. I then proceeded to wander aimlessly for 20-30 minutes going "OoOoOoOo" and looking for someplace to get ressed.

This is the reason i don't play typical MMOs anymore.

 

I was GM-ing a Gurps Light campaign with a homebrew fantasy setting, where my three players were a human mage, tiger-hybrid-thing (remember, homebrew setting) fighter, and a human ninja. My ninja player had taken a limitation that required him to always wear a sash emblazoned with his clan's ancestral logo on it. While the majority of an enemy ninja clan was away fighting as mercenaries an up-and-coming pupil decided to take some students to raid a caravan that my players had been hired to protect, and stole a particular MacGuffin.

My ninja player's clan leader brings him in and says this is a very delicate position. Both clans have struggled to maintain an uneasy truce after years of subterfuge and bloodshed. They can't do nothing, - that would show weakness. They can't attack - that would break the truce. My ninja player is instructed to 1) bring exactly the party that was initially wronged to the enemy's remote mountain dojo, 2) kill the exactly people who attacked you and brand their foreheads with the TruceBreaker mark, 3) arrange their bodies respectfully and 4) leave without touching ANYTHING (ANYTHING!) in the dojo.

My player group travels to the remote mountains and the ninja tells everyone to wait about a mile out while he goes to scout around. He then decides to play super-commando-ninja and assault the compound on his own. He makes a ton of racket climbing up the side of the building, crashes through a window into a storeroom. The player has been in the dojo for about 3 seconds and the first thing he asks to do is (while my other players groan 'don't touch anything!') grab a magic katana off the wall and starts fighting the star-pupil and his ~4 buddies. He manages to mortally wound the star-pupil, but still gets incapacitated within a few rounds.

My other two players see him crash in through the window, and start running to help. Between the mile distance, triggering some traps, and stopping to heal the damage and regenerate to full mana they take about 20 minutes to come save their companion. The enemy students are nice and mad about their leader, and spend that time stripping down their captive, cutting of his hands, and methodically branding him all over with ShameBearer marks. The fighter and mage are able to catch them unawares and defeat them, but an errant fireball sets the dojo on fire. After the flames spend a few rounds scorching the captured and ruined ninja they manage to break his chains out of the wall and escape without time to collect his gear.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. My ninja-player starts asking if he can get weapons attached to his stumps.

A few weeks later the enemy ninja clan returns home to an ashen heap where their compound used to be, filled with the dead bodies of their friends and pupils. As they search the wreckage, what do they find? The charred remains of my ninja-player's ancestral sash!

Thus my players managed to herald in a new bloody era of truce-broken clan warfare. My ninja-player's clan leader is so furious that he has the ninja executed, and the other two characters are quietly assassinated a few weeks later.

 

My entry: (Wozarg is letting someone else use his key as of Monday, so I will resume my usual pestering and bothering--and contest entering--until I get a key, lol.)

I was in the Navy and I met some guys there that were into RPG's (back when you didn't automatically think about Japanese guys that look like girls when you said the term RPG, lol.) They were playing Rolemaster which, in case you have never heard of it, is probably the most hardcore PnP RPG out there. People don't call it "Chartmaster" for nothing. There is a chart to roll on for EVERYTHING. I swear there had to be a chart for what color your pee came out as after drinking to much ale in the local tavern. Then if it was too yellow you'd have to roll on another chart to see how your character reacted to it. But this story really isn't about Rolemaster or pee, lol. It's about the game we decided to play next. I had just bought the Vampire: the Masquerade module for the GURPS system, and the guys said that they'd love to play if I would GM it for them. I knew these guys were totally nuts, but I agreed anyway to run a campaign for them. So I work for about a week straight crafting this master tale of deception and intrigue in the ranks of their vampire clan, in which they were to play the Prince's bodyguards. You know, the guys who would rather die themselves than have anything bad happen to the Prince. So we start playing, and at the FIRST sign of trouble, they decide "Oh, we're going to kill the Prince and take his stuff." I swear that you can still hear the haunting sound of my head hitting whatever desk I was using at the time to this very day.

 

Back when i was playing Neverwinter Nights on a heavy role play persistant world i had a dwarven wizard that i specialized as a conjurer. I had tasked other players into bringing me all kinds of magical summoning ingredients, the world had this system where the summon monster spells would react to various ingredients and summon various creatures .

I used them to make an "ad-hoc" arena in the magic guild where people would fight against summoned creatures creatures for fun, excitement and gold. After a while word had gotten out to other dwarfs that i was using dwarven spirits (the default dwarf wizard summon there) for entertainment and they came to either talk or beat some sense into me and make me stop

In the end we resolved things peacefully and i had to close down my fighting ring , but it sure was a great time for everyone involved.

 

Back in the 90's we were playing 1st ed AD&D. One of the party members was a paladin named Gabriel. This was back when you needed a real badass run of good luck to get the stats needed to legitimately play a paladin so the Gabriel's player was pretty pleased with himself.

At any rate, we were doing a dungeon hack of some variety and the Gabriel took one too many ogre clubs to the face and died. Now we were at that weird point in the power curve of 1st ed, around 5th or 6th level. You know, that point where you could generally afford to get a character raised, and you'd invested enough time in them that you really didn't want to drop down to 1st level (or even 3rd or 4th in the event that you had henchmen), but at the same time it was pretty difficult to get a dead PC back to civilization.

We told our DM that we would pick up the Gabriel's body and carry him out of the dungeon and back to town which was about 3 days away. At this point he grinned and said "How?" After a pause he elaborated, "Gabriel has a constitution of 15 a Strength of 14, and I think his character sheet says he weighs something over 200 lbs. He's also wearing about 80 lbs of armour and was carrying around 100 lbs of treasure and other supplies. How can you carry him out of this dungeon (which was natural caverns and rough terrain) in addition to your other kit?" There was some discussion where we debated ditching treasure, or just rolling the Gabriel's corpse into a ditch and carrying on. The latter option was actually pretty popular, since Gabriel played his character in a way that would have been fantastic fuel for the fires of alignment discussions on ENworld or other RPG sites nowdays.

At any rate the wizard in the party remembered that he had Levitate memorized as one of his 2nd level spells. He realized he was a high enough level to levitate both Gabriel and his gear for around an hour. That was long enough to get us out of the dungeon at which point we could toss him over the back of the mule to carry him back to town. After the spell was cast we tied a rope around him and pulled him along like a balloon at the Thanks Giving Day parade.

We used the Greek/Roman pantheon of gods and our cleric worshiped Bacchus so we took Gabriel there to get raised. We arrived on one of Bacchus' holy days and the party was in full swing. The Clerics player said that he wanted the Wizard to cast levitation on the body again so we paraded into the festivities hauling a dead paladin of Athena or Zeus (I can't remember which) like a balloon. The high priest saw us, and the first words out of his mouth were "Oh! You brought party favors!" He agreed to cast raise dead the next morning so after the spell wore off we propped his corpse up on a couch and proceeded to join the party. Now since Gabriel was the first one to 'pass out' the other guests took it upon themselves to 'decorate' him in the tradition of frat parties everywhere so the next morning when he was raised he came back from the dead to realize that his face, body and armour were covered head to toe in phallus symbols, rude phrases, and everything else our imaginations could come up with.

 

My favourite RP gaming moment occured in a boardgame - Tales of Arabian Nights. I had travelled across the board for many turns, accumulating wealth and fame. On a random encounter I rescued a female and was offered her hand in marriage. Being the plundering, deceitful character I was, I fled from her, although she gave chase for days, literally forcing me to roll for a random encounter with her everywhere I went. I evaded her until my final turn - I had returned to Baghdad where I would win the game. The roll decided that she had caught me. She accused me betraying her, sent her cousins after me, who chased me off into another city. My opponent waltzed into Baghdad and won the game. Lesson learned, never promise your hand in marriage and turn back on it, there is hell to pay.

 

Mine is a bit ironic given the character's setup.

Basically, it was something of a 'short run' setup to try out the new book and I was being lazy.

So my character is a ******ed dwarf berserker who was exiled from his home after various 'accidents', ended up starting a bar brawl, get jailed with the other characters (who were involved in said brawl), and broke a wall to get out.

The characters then introduce each other.

One of them is something like an elf wizard, with a pretty long name.

So I, in accordance with my character's...low attention span, decided to shorten that name down to the first 3 syllables "Mel"
He then rambles on how that's the name of a cat he once had...and how it tasted pretty good after a dip in lava.

Shock by this new nickname and its history, the wizard player was about to complain when he realized how perfectly that fit the character that he just stayed quiet.
I imagine his character was doing a facepalm.

 

It was the first time playing D&D with 3 of us veterans and 2 new guys whose only "RPG" experience was Everquest. The party approaches the kobold hideout. I describe the area and the 2 kobolds they spot standing guard outside.

Says one of the new guys: "Okay, I use my bow to pull the one on the left." Oh man it hurt, us vets were laughing so hard.

 

I've been playing D&D (and other RPGs) since the 70's, but one of my favorite moments happened in the last few years, while running a 4E campaign.

It was fairly early on, and the characters were only 2nd level. They were exploring a kobold lair, and had run into what appeared to be fairly tough opponents (in fact, it was the leader of the "bad" kobolds...long story).

It was an odd group of characters at the time: Half Orc Monk, Drow Assassin, Eladrin Rogue, Halfling Sorceror, and Genassi Swordmage (yes, there was no healer at that moment in time...long story . Basically 4 strikers and the sword mage (who was more of a controller than a defender).

The Drow Assassin decided that they needed some leverage against their foes, who were holed up in a small cave that was probably going to require a suicidal frontal assault. So, without letting the rest of the party know what she was doing, she backtracked to a kobold den they had avoided earlier, where women and children kobolds were hiding (these turned out later on to be the "good" kobolds, not completely innocent, but not actually hostile).

Then, she stole a baby kobold.

Seriously. She stealthily snuck into the room, swiped a baby, and snuck away with it before any of the kobolds noticed her (she was very stealthy, and a pretty good thief to boot).

After she rejoined the rest of the group, who were still trying to figure out how to break the impasse, she announced that she had stolen a baby, and would kill it if the kobolds didn't surrender. This shocked the rest of the characters (it shouldn't have, she was a Drow Assassin after all, but she was apparently crazier than they realized .

And, of course, the "bad" kobolds didn't care at all

After a while, the rest of the characters guilted Natalia into returning the Kobold baby, but it was a defining moment in our campaign (and is still brought up 3 years later).

 

I guess I need to learn how to read better. Posted this in the comments page. lol

One of my favorite moments ever in a pen and paper RPG was during a session of Shadowrun. Three friends and I were playing the Dreamchipper adventure. We started out at my friend Jsh’s house, but called a break, and decided to move the game to our friend Jaime’s. During the card ride over, which was about an hour, we started to just role play the adventure. No combat, no dice rolls. Just complete role-playing involving investigation, contacts, and good old fashioned street work. By the time we got to Jaime’s house we were ready for the final showdown and finished off with some combat. But it was the car ride over that provided the true magic of playing a role-playing game and I’ll never forget that night.

 

Greetings all, never posted anything on the forums, but i really really want a beta key
Here is the tale of Torgo the tyrant, to your amusement in limerick form:

Torgo the Tyrant

Torgo the dwarf was one rather bold
above all he desired to have much more gold
he promised all those a fair share
who were willing to do and to dare
go on a venture and live to have told

They checked some old logs
read of a witch in the bogs
withal her magnificient treasure
silver and gold in above equal measure
but no one had told them of all those wild trogs

On to defeat this scourge of humanity
and rid the realm of insanity
they went on in the night
never scared of a fight
none wise enough to foresee the calamity

They came for them quick
the fighting was thick
the priest kneeled there to pray
begged to be saved from this fray
then dead and his head on a stick

In this situation most dire
the wizard dared to used fire
but neither known nor expected
his spell was reflected
and the caster was ash in the mire

Torgo never stopped, he blocked, bashed and he chopped
one after one his enemies dropped
until all the trogs and even the witch
in the end were piled dead in the ditch
and all bodies torn up and popped

Torgo the tyrant still knew the drill
all by himself he continued to kill
he came home with all riches
needed just a few stitches
but even then he wanted to be richer still

I never posted anything on the forums, but the desire to get a key made me endulge in mediocre poetry!

 

There once was a man from Nantuckett...

Whose.....

 

Warrior : ready to open the door...
Thief : Ok, wait i sneak into darkness....

Opening the door, the warrior is confronted to a group of 4 mages waiting for them...

Warrior : Charrrrrrgggggggge.....WHOOOOSSHHHH....

Thief stay into darkness
Thief stay into darkness
Thief stay into darkness
Thief stay into darkness
Thief stay into darkness..................


PS : Sorry for this post it's just i love playing thief so much.....

 

Alright here is how it went down. I'm always the Dungeon master, frankly my players consider me far too luck and insane whenever I play a normal PC. The reverse has also been proven true, I seem to warp probability. Whenever I DM, things just go wrong for the party. As an example here is my most amusing moment from one of my older campaigns.

The party was relatively young and inexperienced, consisting of a rouge, a fighter, and a wizard that liked to use runes to do magic. After battling their way through some bandits they encounter an interesting ruin that is going to become a natural font of magic within the next few years. Obviously they are all about capturing and claiming the land by any means to reap substantial profits, unfortunaly a mini-boss had already found the area and was waiting inside to ambush them. I'll skip through the boring combat and get right to the fun part.

[Wizard]: Right i'm going to use a healing rune to heal myself
[Me]: Ok roll it
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure* SON OF A...
[Me]: *evil laugh* Confirm it please
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure* you have got to be kidding...
[Me]: *evil laugh* Keep confirming it
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure*
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure*
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure*
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure*
[Wizard]: *rolls a critical failure*
[Wizard]: *rolls just above a crit fail*

By the last one we were laughing so hard as a group that it took five minutes to roll the check and we were all rooting for another failure to see exactly what had happened. Taking a moment to compose myself i quickly devised what had happened and told the party. The healing run had turned red, and with each progressive crit failure the rune had grown larger, the the point that it spread off of the wizards body and began spreading across the ground. When the rune when off it was giant pillar of flame, one far beyond the capacity of the wizard due to the fact of where they were. The mini-boss was caught within it and died.

Unfortunately when the mage saluted the party as the rune went off, he was little more than crisps after the flames dissipated.

 

This is pretty much the most iconic moment from a year long 2nd ed DND game I was involved in:

The Iron Ring, an evil crime syndicate holds sway over they cities of Mystara. Many hours of investigation has uncovered a possible informant in a local brothel. So I; Murgatroid (a powerful wizard) and my companion Igrim (a brutal warrior) head to the brothel to rustle up some info.

We arrived and questioned the pimp most vigorously, he presented one of his 'workers' who turned out to be our informant. My companion bravely volunteered to extract the information from her in one of the rooms upstairs, I decided to wait in the lobby.
after they had left, I was informed that I would have to either pay for a girl or leave. Wanting to support my friend I eventually agreed.

She led me to her room and handed me a glass of sweet tasting wine. I told her we would just talk and I waited for my friend to finish his interview (they were making quite a racket, I hoped he wasn't hurting her).

I woke up naked, stripped of all my equipment (and a promisary note worth 10k in gold). Aghast I shot to my feet, my head groggy from whatever was used to drug me. The girl who had given me the wine was lying next to me, apparently I had been roofied. I grabbed her and shook her, shouting in her face for the location of my precious monies. Ofcourse she lets out a scream and before I know it, the door to the room flies open and one of the pimps toughs clobbers me about the head. Before the blackness takes me, I let out a yelp and conjure a ball of flame which engulfs most of the room.

My companion, hearing the commotion bursts out of his room, woman in tow. As the flames spread and through the screaming of the patrons and *****s alike he grabs my naked, lifeless body and hefts me over his shoulder. He breaks a nearby window and climbs through.

And there the scene ends. Igrim, sooty and running at full speed from the town, me over his shoulder, my arse flapping in the breeze as the brothel burns to the ground.

 

DnD 3.5, playing with a long time group. Imagine a deep forest and a weary battle-worn party. We come upon a charming cottage, in the middle of NOWHERE, with the smell of baking gingerbread coming from the smoking chimney. An aged crone, almost bent double, answers the door. 'Hello children, would you like some cookies?' she croaked through a craggy smile.

Me to the table: Guys, I got this.
My Buds: Uh, ok.
Me to DM: Ok, I walk up, thank the lady cordially and offer my hand in friendship.
DM: Ok. The kind old lady shakes your hand and offer...
Me: Great. I lock my grip on that hand and, no matter what, don't let go. With my other hand, I punch her in the face AS HARD AS I CAN, yelling 'cookies! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!'
Table: *silence*

To their credit, the party and the DM just rolled with it. A grand melee ensued in which the witch monstered out and slammed me all around the inside of the cottage, but she couldn't use alot of spells because of the grapple. After a hard won victory the other characters looked at me quizzically, 'why?'.

'Guys, I'm an elf who's over 300 years old, this isn't my first witch.'

We've played many different games since, but occasionally someone would break out 'cookies, I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!' when deciding to go boss-mode

 

Too many entries!!!

Maybe you could give 20 keys now out of the entries you have so far and then another 20 next week?

 

I forget what version of D&D I was playing, but it was a homebrrewed game. I decided to roll a Rogue and took a feet that let me used odd weapons. Apparently my modifiers were so great with some of the drops found and stats I pumped into him that when the final boss of the Campaign came around (Some sort of great dragon) he total wiped my party in one hit. I was the only survivor and every weapon I had was totaled other than this Tuna I was lugging around. I decide to roll, and I ended up criting the dragon to death with a tuna.