Time for a new Beta Key Contest!

From earlier in this thread, on the question if there's only one entry per person allowed:

 

Alchemy was Dr. Mander’s talent. His latest formula would allow two creatures to combine forms into a singular entity. He snuck into a village and poisoned the water supply with the substance, creating deranged creatures when he unleashed his lizard pets upon the town. The people of the town turned against him, but their lizard halves wouldn’t let them kill the doctor. Instead, they gave him his own formula, and he, too, became a lizardman.

 

Shadrack: Goblin Shaman

Shadrack 's tutor in the Shamanic arts was Vrast, and he perpetually frustrated her. He claimed links of servitude to a star, one called Bismark. Impossible! but the hardest part? The brat was a natural. A gift, he claimed, from Bismark.
They had been together for nearly 10 years when she was split down the middle by a fighter's axe before he barely escaped. And he has never forgotten.

 

Shreka: Goblin

Shreka was lost in the woods at age 8, it was two years before hunting parties brought her home. Bears had raised her in those woods and while her family were thankful she had not forgotten them, it had changed her. The girl spoke rarely and only with meaning, she preferred her meat rare and she was an immovable object behind a shield. A one Goblin Shield wall.

 

R64-S the Golem

..........................................Ignition software loaded............................................boot-up initiated......................................................... loading motor functions......................... success boot-up 25% complete................................................. loading visual recognition software boot-up 50% complete...................................................... loading combat algorithms .................... success bootup 75% complete................................................... loading basic cognitive functions ................................................... error in loading cognitive functions ............................... trying to repair damage ..................................................error .......................error ..................error..........................error................ loading backup self defense routines.............................................. success...................boot up complete ................................... Threat to self identified ........................ Target acquired, engaging.................................. threat neutralized......................... standby ..........................

Several weeks later:
Did you hear what happend to Hans ?
No.
Apparently he tried to build a golem out of discarded parts and was killed by his own creation. It further killed 10 people investigating the house and destroyed 2 of the finest combat golems before it was finally destroyed.
Horrible !
What are you saying ? That golem was a huge success ! I can`t wait until I finish my own !

Several weeks later there was another golem rampage....

 

Kseth Lizardman Warrior
The Sentries have spotted another group of surfacers and close to home too. As if the drow incursions weren't bad enough and we don't even know why they keep attacking us. Well at least those seem not to be that well armed...at least that is what the others say. It wouldnt matter either way...i am not letting those monsters anywhere near my hatchlings. Wait...something moved.."AAARGH!...AMBUSH!"...

next time you guys kill an orc a lizard or anything at all...always remember...you might be killing a mother...a father...someone who loved or was loved nothing is ever "just a monster"
PS: those pesky rogues are not fair!

 

So you know, people just treat you different... Comments about my hair, my complexion, quiet whispers regarding the way i smell. The Face book comments! Ahriman waddled here, Ahrimans bugs are buggin me, Ahriman eats brains from a can blah blah blah. People think i enjoy my arse hanging out he back of my pants because i cant quite reach around and pull them up straight?? You think i enjoy talking with a low grumbling groan?
And just a hint... the next person who plays thriller as i walk past is gonna get a battle axe to the sternum

Ahriman

 

Eugene the Yellow Pudding

Ha haaa! Snagged another one today. Man, they just don't get it, these "adventurers." I mean, I take up an entire chamber of this dungeon and they just run into me and get stuck. I mean I doesn't hurt that I swallowed that chunk of rock (I thought it was food...) that they so desperately need. Something about "completing the glyph"... I don't know. Don't care! They just keep coming!

 

When is the big prize giving? How long do we have to wait?
Let's hope you work weekends!!

 

Gritti, the goblin's last words aimed at an adult Black Dragon :

"MON THEN YA WEE SPECCY ****, SQUARE-GO LIKE I'LL FUGGEN BURST YE!"

 

Tree4Tree

NEW TO THE GROVE
- Single, beech sapling ISO adventurous oak 4 budding friendship. Must enjoy tripping elves & bonking dwarves - saps need not reply. Interested? Call and leaf me a message!

BRANCH OUT TONIGHT
- King Oak seeks maple sweetie for casual root. Biggest trunk in theBlack Forest! Don't be afraid to go out on a limb - come get knotty with me!

 

Stumpy,Also Has A "Short Temper"

 

Edward the Zombie's final thoughts.
Unggh. So hungry, always so hungry. Eat, eat, eat, brains when I can. Doesn't matter, still hungry. Whats that!? People? Maybe they will share their brains? That last bunch was so selfish. I didn't want to hurt them, but I was so hungry and they were being so mean. "Hey! Watch it, I don't eat with a sword."

 

Once, my family lived a simple life. Then our evil neighbors struck and the breeze carried a horrifying but delicious smell. All was lost until small green creatures arrived. Seizing my chance I charged forth and my timely intervention saved the noble green warriors. Henceforth I would not rest until the scourge of mankind was wiped from the face the earth and the world was once again safe for innocent pigs everywhere.

Signed: Bacon no More (Armored Pig)

 

They brought us all the way out here to show off, and its just my luck to get their dreaded plague. I'm as green as a seasick ogre and I have to deal with these three pesky "heroes" while suffering the worst stomachache of all time. My plan was to breath fire and just crisp them into bacon (like a dragon should), but now all I can do is projectile vomit and fly around with this obnoxious headache. I'm going to ask my agent to come up with a fake name so I don't sully my reputation.

- Flametongue, the Vermillion Dragon Greenfang, the Viridian Dragon

 

March 8, 213A.D.
Dear Journal,
Today was so bad. First I was made fun of by those mean yellow puddings or whatever those dumb slimes are called. All I had asked them was if I could take one of the bones from their pile of bodies to replace a lost limb of mine that a stupid dog in armor took. But I did meet this cute dwarf named Silvershield so I’m going to ask her out. Let’s hope it goes well…
-Fester ‘Ing, the zombie

 

If pigs could face-palm I would. My name is Edore and I’m an Armored Pig. My kobold master, Swylch whom to my misfortune was astoundingly cognitively challenged, in his brilliance charged the rather miffed ginger dwarf holding a massive scroll. He now exists an odorous smoking pile of… bits, hence my desire to face-palm. There goes my chance at becoming a Battle Bore. I really wanted that Gore card too!

 

Was there ever a reply to this? I was thinking the same thing.

 

Ahhhhh, the zombie...
Ahhhhh was born from a human who was bitten by a zombie. Ahhhhh wanders hopelessly in hope of finding a brain or two. That's all Ahhhhh really wanted was brains, why wouldn't anyone just give him brains? Or find a nice family to settle down with who feeds him brains. A good home...will you adopt Ahhhhh and feed him brains?

 

Wilhelm Curlybottom wasn't always an armored pig. He had two brothers once in houses of straw, the other twigs. One night a group of companions with ale on their breaths, stumbled upon these houses where the pigs met their deaths. With fires made from straw and wood they had taken, they cooked the brothers up because they craved some bacon. Wilhelm swore that day to seek revenge, for his fallen smoky brothers he vowed to avenge.