Forval's Flavor: Cardhuntrian Fanatics' Fanciful Flavor Text Proposals

What is Forval's Flavor? Many cards in the game are missing the all-important flavor text. This thread is about creating and submitting flavor text for those cards which are missing said flavor text. Heck, maybe you can even try to improve upon existing flavor text. Will there be a monthly thread? No, because there are no winners (only Zuul). Will these proposals get put into the game? Probably not.

Forval's Flavor #∞
(closes never)

this lifetime's restriction: none​

I have nothing to type here because this is pretty self-explanatory. Just mention a card that is missing flavor text and come up with some. Get cracking!

P.S. I came up with this idea 100% completely on my own and have zero nagging guilt buried deep in my subconscious.

 

Travelling Curse - "Please, please. Anything but Slytherin, anything but Slytherin. "

 

all you needed to say.....


....anyway, Arcane Beam:

'we came, we saw, we kicked its ass.'

 

Pushback Parry - "Not today!"

 

Elven Maneuvers - "Say cheese!"

P.S. Fireball was my initial target, but sadly it already has a flavor text.

 

Unholy Wellspring
A drop of blood for an ocean of power.

 

Push back parry: "hasta la vista, baby" or wherever is say it in english from terminator.

 

Thin Clubbing Branch- Some like it straight over the plate, others relish the space for a wide swing.

Punishing Bludgeon- The more they carried, the harder they fell

Instant Burn- If you can't stand the heat, now is a good time to put on your running boots

Volcano- It was like a river of fire with a mind of its own, it followed us with relentless vigour.

Wild Spark- Does anyone have a spare kite and a key?

 

Force Field: Can't hit me now.

Genetic Therapy: Therapy always helps.

Mimetic Crown: No-one really understands how this armor works
.
Teleport: Now I am here, now I am gone.

Enchanted Harness: Looks nice, gives alright protection, and somehow makes your other armor better.

Mimetic Armor: Many have chosen not to wear this armor, as they are afraid of the armor's effect unleashed on themselves.

Destructive Purge: You are looking good today. Let me change that.

Radioactive Goo: There was once a guy who decided to bathe himself in the stuff. He never looked the same again.

Flash Of Agony: A wizard once made a flash in the middle of a village, a guy in another village was hit with the magic and died, that story has definitely scared most people.

Volcano: SURPRISE!!!

Hypnotic Beacon: Also known as the Force-Enemies-To-Dance-A-Tron.

Barbed Platemail: People who wear this armor all the time are not liked, as they often hurt others without meaning to.

Frenzy Aura: Some people are find one second, then goes into massive frenzy the next.

 

Some hits and misses, many have a meta angle i am unsure about. The one for Destructive Purge is a sure hit. And I like the Frenzy Aura idea a lot - Maybe we can expand on that "boiling under the surface" idea. Also the "only use this indoors" rule hinted at in your flash of agony one.

 

Inspiring Presence -
I pray this works.

 

Barbed Platemail

I'm a real sharp dresser!

 

Purge -
An answer looking for a question.

 

Gene Therapy: Side effects may include: Slipperiness, Levitation, Intense Anger, Instantaneous Regeneration, Invisibility and Mutation.

Stone Spikes: "Trust me, you don't want to sit on these." -Guru Tebintor

Escaping Run: "Sorry, I got places to be!" -Nymphia the Nimble

Leap: *Shwoop!*

Reflect Missile: "What goes around, comes around." -Cardhuntrian proverb

Disorienting Block: "What's that?!" -Fooled ya

Dual Laser Beacon: What's better than a laser beacon? Two laser beacons!

Instant Burn: "Your mother." -Common schoolyard saying

Volcano: The ground is lava! Literally!

Lava Pool: One pool party you don't want to attend.

Flash Flood: NO SWIMMING ALLOWED

Unholy Energy: Sure, it might sting a little, but it's renewable!

Death Touch: "I was wearing the thickest hide, yet I felt so cold, so cold..." -Menorkin Deathtouched

Reaching Swing: Just... a little... further...!

 

Arcane Burst - "You're not safe behind that tree."

Arcane Beam - Hiding behind your friends is a bad idea.

Bloodied Block - You'll never make the same mistake twice.

Controlled Overswing - There's no such thing as being too dead.

Flash Of Agony - Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

Demonic Power -
"The contract must be signed in blood"

 

Rockfall
Everyone dies

 

Obliterating chop:Barbarians learn to be precise while training with axes, specifically the precision needed to cut an elf and a dwarf's neck in the same swing

 

Elvish Scamper - "Just watching them makes me breathless."

Healing Dash - Run off the pain.

Instant Burn - Even the smallest of flames can get out of hands in no time.

Purging Strike - Knowing your opponents pressure points can make a difference.

Startling Strike - “Oh this shield? You weren't using it anyway.”

 

Mass Frenzy

You get a frenzy! You get a frenzy! EVERYBODY GETS A FRENZY! Except the enemy.