10 types of players who make it harder to enjoy co-op

Cardhunter co-op, and the vast majority of co-op players, are fantastic. My best Cardhunter moments have pretty much all come from co-op shenanigans. Sometimes, people aren't so fantastic. Don't be those people.


1: The 'spammer'

If a person hasn't posted a request in co-op chat, then it's polite to message them first (a tiny notification in the chat window), rather than just invite them (a massive pop-up obscuring the screen). Bonus points if you spam me with join requests that I decline until I block you.


2: The 'I just need to build a new character'

Quickly modifying an existing character to suit a level is part of co-op, and that's cool. But no-one wants to wait 10 minutes so you can look at every piece of equipment you own before we start, especially on an easy, non-Artifact, non-Citadel map. There is a store party button (which can break down from time to time - see below) and no reason why you can't premake favourite builds that can handle every campaign level.


3: The 'mystery man'

You don't tell the party what you're bringing, even when we ask, so we end up with three firestorm wizards burning to death in a corner of the map while the enemy moons us from a distant hedge. I have a good healer on my roster. I'm happy to bring a healer. She works well with firestorm wizzes. Just tell me beforehand, okay?


4: The 'Netflix junkie'

You think you can multitask, but you can't. So your teammates are stuck twiddling their thumbs before every one of your moves while you watch cat videos in another tab / message your bestie / play another game at the same time.


5: The 'Mom says I only have 5 minutes'

Then you don't have time to play most campaign levels, especially if you waste four of the five minutes selecting a character. Go take the bins out or do your homework, and come back when you have enough time to enjoy playing. If you leave me swinging three levels into a campaign because you didn't have enough time to play in the first place, you're going straight onto the no-fly list.


6: The 'incommunicado'

Yeah, the early levels can be co-oped by sleepwalkers, but the later levels, especially Citadel, require some basic teamwork. I'm not a telepath. Tell me what you're going to do, and what you'd like me to do. Don't get salty because I'm not John Edwards.


7: The 'none shall pass'

You don't understand that the party gets one move, ONE MOVE TOTAL, before the enemy responds. Or you don't care. Either way, you don't pass to let teammates move out of danger, or face towards danger so they can block, or kill a wounded enemy before it can run away, or move out of range before you unleash a cursed and wellspringed firestorm, because you just have to do your **** first. It's not your turn, it's the party's turn. Dude, pass, you'll get your chance, we promise.


8: The 'embarrassed newbie'

If you're totally new to co-op and not sure what you should do, ask. Please. Every experienced player is more than happy to let you know the best thing you can do right now (really, we are, we get a kick out of helping newbies), and you may even learn some tactics at the same time. It's cute that you want to charge a security robot with your dwarf warrior from the other side of the map after deliberating this complicated strategy for three minutes, but there are levels where bad play from one member is likely to get the party killed, more than once.


9: The 'come fire walk with me'

You're totes excited because you finally have two Mordecai's, and that's awesome. What's not awesome is the way you unleash volcs at the start of a round, while you can actually see that the mobs still have their move cards. Guess what? They're going to use them. Bonus points if you hold off until the party has no moves left, volc, and then watch every mob step off the lava tiles.


10: The 'Alan Carr, Chatty Man'

Yeah, I enjoy banter and I'll always chat with you about how your life and my life is going, but please try to type around your turns. I'll wait while you punch out another mini-novel with two fingers during your turn, but I won't be happy about doing it.

 

3, 4 and (especially) 9 cracked me up. Thanks, i needed that.

 

There is some bug about store/retrieve button while in co-op, I have not done testing how it works yet.

 

If store/retrieve pops up blank, just exit to the map and come back and it'll be there. (You don't even have to leave the team.)

 

You're right, I've been struck by this too from time to time. I'll amend the post.

 

9 was hilarious, I agree. About the 2, what can happen is that if you have a 2 wiz 1 priest FS team for playing solo certain levels, you spread your FS items between your 2 wizards, trying to balance them to have more or less the same amount. But it turns out that if you just have to bring one wizard for playing coop, you can maximize the FS you can bring (that's what happened to me the only time I did coop, could run a maxed 18 FS wizard, while when playing solo that's not possible for me as I have to feed 2 wizards). So, you have to change the one you have stored. That shouldn't take more than 1 minute anyway.

 

There is also the "My character died, so I'm Resigning the Battle" player. I've only run into this once, and I continued and finished the adventure. But if you're running a firestorm elf, departing the field before your comrades shouldn't come as a big shock. Just let us finish up, and come in again on the next map.

 

I've been guilty of 2, 6 and 10 once or twice.

It's helped me to keep in mind the main things which I hope helps sums this up: communicate if in doubt, dont give up easily!, and make an effort to think ofyour teammates needs and time-constraints. This last one is key, and also fun to do.

Think about it. In a normal single player game, you need to think of how to best combine your party. So why not do the same in co-op...with the additional thig that you will need to pass often to let teammates escape/dish out timely attacks. You also get to feel like a hero as you pass and save your attacks til a lethal combo at end of turn

Also, from the other side of the coin. If you are a skilled CH player, and notice teammate mistakes, can be good to dial down the criticism. We all make mistakes, big and small. Realise that in holding back your acid-jet-tongue!, you give your teammates less stress, and room to realise the mistakes themselves -a win-win! Finally don't forget that your way of doing things might not be the only way. There are many ways to arrive at a successful result! Especially now that Caverns is more balanced, hurrah!

 

Haha, this is so true and thanks for calling it out. I've been on both ends of harsh criticism during co-op, most notably when Gary had passed for a loss. Instead of ending the round for the win I hit one of the mobs, triggering the draw of a gold attack which Gary then used to win. That was not a good day in team chat.

 

There's also the "I'm going to tell everyone what to do with their cards even if they seem like a competent player". I've been on LF runs where one person on the team assumes the other 2 don't know how the game works and spells out every move to do and think they're being helpful.

 

Yeah that's me, so that's why I left that one off

 

That used to be me, now I do it less. But hey that isn't bad in comparison to the 10 types mentioned in the OP.

 

Haha, to be fair I'll sometimes turn into that guy, but I'll generally give the partner the first map of the module the benefit of the doubt, then kind of pose question to help them realise what we're trying to accomplish going forward in the later maps.

 

I wouldn't mind the random requests were it not for the fact that I accidentally pressed accept one time and forfeited a MP match because of it.

I'm totally guilty of #10 though. I find anything other than FS/volc wizards too slow, even if it means we lose a module or two. Unfortunately, not everyone understands how to play around volcano. Pro tip: Don't use your moves up when you can see I'm packing heat!
Relevant: I also find people who feel the need to keep their character alive at all costs really annoying. Guys, only one of us has to survive, it's ok that your dorf war took 2 damage..

 

I am guilty for playing in Silent or Verbose (#6) mode. Also for playing quite mysterious Cat (#3).
And I hope that I was cured from other not so funny behavior. But not sure

Dying is not very funny when you play No Death quest ...

or 1 hp quest.

PS: Most funny player are those who brings Firestorm to 1 hp quest.

 

I em n0t a m0r0n

 

You know what else makes you look like a moron? Speaking with a screw up your butt and your head in the clouds.

 

I would love to show him all these messages in 10 years' time just to see the look on his face.

 

Before this discussion degenerates any further, I'd like to mention the players who are actually very good co-op partners, but have really embarrassing usernames (usually involving bodily fluids).

 

But Data isn't a bodily fluid.